Checking the list for local sports teams

By David Mullen

Santa has checked the Christmas list of area teams and sports personalities. He now has the daunting task of trying to provide multi-millionaires with gifts that they can’t buy.

Wikileaks released Santa’s list from Dallas local franchises, so while we can’t determine its authenticity, we can run it as a public service. Here are the requests from those already most fortunate. 

The Dallas Cowboys. Despite a long list of naughty players, the Cowboys are looking for a playoff run. Assuming they make the playoffs.

Jason Garrett. An assistant coach’s job next year and a quick closure on his Dallas area house.

Jerry Jones. A visit from the Ghost of General Managers past. Maybe it will scare him straight and make him realize the team needs a strong front office decision-maker. No matter what happens, short of a Super Bowl LIV victory, this Cowboys season has been a big lump of coal.  

The Dallas Mavericks. A lifetime contract for head coach Rick Carlisle and forward Luka Dončić. What Carlisle has done with this team is incredible, and in embracing the role as the next Dirk Nowitzki, Dončić is become the best player, well, since Dirk Nowitzki. Dončić isn’t even old enough to legally enjoy a holiday egg nog.

 The Texas Rangers. A bat, defense and dependable closer to go along with their revitalized pitching staff. You never know what GM Jon Daniels is thinking in the off-season. This coming year, it is all about pitching. It will take more than just pitching, and a hot (fire joke) new stadium, to compete with the Houston Astros, Oakland Athletics, Los Angeles Angels and Seattle Mariners in the American League West this year. 

The Dallas Stars. Someone who can score consistently. They play in a very competitive conference, and this is one team that will want their packages wrapped, not in a (penalty) box.

 The Dallas Renegades. A serious initial XFL season where teams don’t fold up like a new Hot Wheels track. They have a national TV contract with ABC and Fox. The Renegades scored a well-known head coach in former University of Oklahoma leader Bob Stoops. How long will he, and the league, be around? 

The Dallas Wings. Respect and awareness. They are in a sound league, and the WNBA seems committed to featuring the best in women’s basketball. But the Wings remain the team that no one knows about. “Quick, where do they play?” Maybe the question will be answered by a trip to Arlington and a couple of tickets in the Christmas stocking. Teams are a big deal in many cities, but the Wings, not far from DFW Airport, remain flightless. 

FC Dallas. A big-name player. This soccer team is pretty good. They have a small but loyal fan base, and the league is gaining prominence nationwide. 

FC Dallas needs to attract new fans so they can see a fun, affordable and family-oriented experience so lacking in professional sports today.

Southern Methodist University football. More golf carts. That will make it easy for fans to actually get off of “The Boulevard,” go to a game and see that exciting college football is being played right in their own backyard, in the shadow of their Gin and Tonics.

KTCK 1310 The Ticket. Just one hour of dedicated sport talk without bathroom humor or a story of how drunk a producer got at Ticketstock.

Other sports radio stations 105.3 FM “The Fan” and ESPN Dallas 103.3 FM. More information on your car radio screen. That way, a listener will know that they are actually not the same station. 

The Dallas Morning News. A committed intern. I know as well as anyone about the financial obstacles that newspapers face these days. But they will never survive if they don’t provide what the people want. 

Yes, The Dallas Morning News has an (awkward at best) website that they deem as the news and sports resource of the future. And yes, they have daily production demands. 

Yes, there are 24-hour sports networks. Yes, the internet is full of sports apps. But can’t someone hang around and provide late scores of games played on the West Coast, especially when the Rangers play numerous road games in Anaheim, Oakland and Seattle, the Mavs play in Los Angeles and San Francisco, and the Stars play in Vancouver, San Jose, Los Angeles and Orange County? The teams are good enough to provide late coverage, even if it is just from an enterprising intern willing to log in a box score after the big names have finished their resumes and turned off their desk lamps. Wishes may come true, but in this case, that may be too much to wish for. After another season, 

Seasons Greetings to all!