Church presents parenting workshop

By Stacy Olds

Parents know that moment — when they’re in the middle of a restaurant, and their toddler melts down. Suddenly, the parents are frozen, overreacting, or just trying to get through it.

Kelly Feddern (pictured) knows those moments well. A licensed clinical social worker and owner of Highlands Counseling in Lake Highlands, Feddern specializes in play-based therapy and works closely with parents navigating big emotions at home. Feddern is presenting “What to Say: Parenting Through Big Feelings,” a free workshop for parents of children ages 2–12 on Sunday, May 3, from 4:30–6 p.m. at Lake Highlands Presbyterian Church.

“Not knowing what to say as a parent is completely normal,” Feddern said. “Those are often the moments when we slip into lecturing or react more strongly than we’d like. But it’s actually our calm — not our words — that makes the biggest difference.”

Rather than focusing on what to say first, Feddern encourages parents to start with co-regulation — helping themselves settle before helping their child. That might look like sitting nearby while your child cries, offering a hug or gentle touch, or modeling slow, steady breathing.

“Kids don’t learn emotional skills through lectures — they learn through relationships,” she explains. “When we can stay grounded, we’re showing them what regulation actually looks like.”

Once things feel calmer, Feddern recommends a simple, powerful shift: connect before you correct.

“Get down on your child’s level, name what you’re seeing — ‘You’re really frustrated’ — and then calmly set the limit,” she said. “You can be both kind and clear: ‘I won’t let you throw things. I’m here to help you calm your body.’”

While these strategies are especially helpful for younger children, they matter just as much for older kids and teens. “Over time, kids begin to internalize what they experience from us,” Feddern says. “They build confidence in their ability to manage emotions because they’ve had that support modeled for them.”

The “What to Say: Parenting Through Big Feelings” workshop is free, with optional donations to help offset event costs. To register, visit LHPRES.org.