One ringy dingy. Two ringy …

By Nancy Black Ernestine is one of the most iconic characters from television in the late 1960s and early 1970s. Played by the brilliant Lily Tomlin, she was featured on “Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In,” one of the funniest, edgiest shows of its time. “Ernestine was a nosy, condescending telephone operator who generally treated customers with […]

Happiness is a warm gun?

By Nancy Black The best part of online high school? Students come home alive. I was going to write this week about how wonderful online high school has been for my teenager and me. All the classes are on the computer. My student talks with teachers and other students, does daily assignments and has huge […]

Medicycling (or Go ask Alice)

By Nancy Black “Do not use [name of pharmaceutical product*] if you are allergic to [name of pharmaceutical product],” the soothing female voice-over actress from a commercial said. “How am I supposed to know if I’m allergic to something if I’ve never tried it?” I responded out loud as I watched late night TV while […]

What happened to freeways?

By Nancy Black Woo hoo! Look at me go. I’m flying down LBJ Freeway like it was made just for me! The road signs in my mind read “Nancy’s Freeway,” just like Bob, the guy from that popular car commercial. He’s seen on TV speeding down the road in his brand-new vehicle, spying a horrible […]

A CERTified victim

By Nancy Black I had a compound fracture of my left tibia with excessive bleeding and severe bruising. I also had a bloody nose, but was not in shock, though I was dazed and confused. My teenager had a dislocated shoulder and a huge gash on the leg. We were victims of a horrible earthquake. […]

I say, ‘N-O’ to FOBs

I say, ‘N-O’ to FOBs

By Nancy Black Back in my old school days, there was this little book called “1984.” It was written by a man named George Orwell and it predicted the day when the government would have a watchful eye on everything everyone did. Every school aged child was required to read the book, and we of […]

How to make billions!

By Nancy Black Eureka! I did it! I figured out how to make billions of dollars with one single swipe. You wanna know the secret? You charge a fee for doing nothing. Remember how the classic TV show “Seinfeld” was about “nothing”? Same goes for this fee. It’s for nothing. But, if you charge every […]

New beginnings

By Nancy Black “Dogwood trees mean Easter, to me,” I said to a friend the other day. She looked at me like a dog hearing a strange sound — you know, with her head kind of cocked to the side. I explained that, when I was a little girl running through the piney woods of […]

Baa, Baa, black sheep

By Nancy Black Where was the huge, 30-point headline? Why didn’t anyone stop the presses? How come nobody is talking about this? Scientists announced last week they had successfully created a human-animal hybrid and the general public didn’t even blink an eye. Am I the only one who thinks it is amazing (and kind of […]